Turning down the dial on stress, overwhelm, panic or rage
Hello beautiful people,
In the work of self-exploration, on our path to find healing to the pains and challenges that we carry, it is so easy to focus on finding the answers. We set out our destination as – I need to get fixed.
And I really understand this because this was my desired destination too. For so long the pressures I faced every day, the punishing anxiety, the pain of shame I was carrying, the constant shut down, freeze as well as the inability to say what I thought, wanted or felt because I was in appease mode – I just wanted this to all go away, and go away as quickly as possibly.
It makes total sense to desire this.
What I have learnt on my journey with the modalities of neuro emotional coaching and somatic embodiment is that we are actually living with a dial. The dial is the activation – the emotions, the panic, the rage, the survival – whatever it is – and for many of us that dial is turned up way, way, way too high.
And what this work that I do is all about is not getting rid of the dial – even though when we are in deep, deep challenge that feels like the most logical solution – but to gently, gently, gently turn the dial down so that it becomes a more manageable experience.
Because as human beings we are meant to have things come and activate us. We are meant to live with a rhythm in our bodies. For challenges to arise and us to have the tools to work with them and be with them.
Emotions are meant to come up and recede. Activate and integrate. Like clouds passing through the sky.
What we aren’t meant to have is be so activated, for so long, that we are living in a state of constant too much for too long.
So the work that I do is all about learning how to turn the dial down.
For me, now that my dial has been turned down significantly, I find it immensely satisfying to walk through life knowing that the ups and downs are no longer crushing and destructive, but actually help me feel expanded and capable when I walk through things that aren’t easy.
So my thought for you today is that we aren’t meant to eradicate fear or extinguish anger. That would mean that we would lose so much of the good, pleasureable, fun and beautiful emotions too.
It would also mean that we wouldn’t get the wonderful wisdom and care-taking our emotions provide. Because when we get down to it, when we are really able to hold our feelings, to be with them, tend to them, we discover that they are carriers of information. They are there to show us where the needs we have aren’t being met. Where there are things being missed in our life.
Where we need to speak up.
Where we need to look after ourselves more.
Where we need more community and connection.
Where we need to change direction.
Our needs as human beings are as unique as we are. For me my needs are right now:
- Gentle loving movement to help strengthen my body as I continue to recover from a long term back injury
- Times of quiet and silence as I learn to reconnect to myself more after 18 years of intensive parenting
- Times of adventures and quests where I do things I haven’t done before
- Community with people I deeply deeply connect to. With whom I feel safe to be the excitable, sometimes loud, fun and sometimes very quiet person I am. Not just befriend anyone who shows interest.
Every day as a practice I am looking at my dial. I am seeing – where do I need to resource myself to bring more safety and calm into my nervous system so that that dial doesn’t get turned up?
Every day I am also listening to my emotions to see how I can meet my needs.
And what this does, this practice, is it gives me so much more time in a space of delight, of fun, of working at the deep level that I love to work in my business.
It gives me the space and ability to feel calm but also allows for challenges that come my way.
Because the foundation of who we can be in this world rests on how we feel.
It’s hard to be brave when our dial is turned up and we feel unsafe or panicky.
It’s hard to be calm with other people when rage is on fire inside us.
It’s hard to be the best parent, friend or lover when we are preoccupied and worried about the world, our lives, each other.
It’s hard to be really efficient at our jobs when we are so often pushed into that urgency, that too-muchness of survival.
So while it takes time to build this practice, it’s a practice that lasts a lifetime. To know how to turn down your own dial. To tune in to yourself and know how to support yourself, so that you can bring your most authentic self, most confident and free self to your life and your day.
I hope that these ideas and thoughts today feel supportive. To know that small incremental change makes the biggest, most expansive difference in the long term.
Love to you all,
Diana